I wrote this myself.

Refugee Crisis Worsens

WINDSOR, ONTARIO In what was formerly a park, a make-shift Liberal refugee camp has sprung up in the wake of the reelection of George W. Bush. This tent city, and several more like it, is temporary home to thousands of self-righteous people who say they are fleeing the administration of George W. Bush.

The Canadian government was straining to feed and shelter the refugees on its own until European nations began to airlifting in tons of the refugee’s preferred foods – anything organic, sushi, and lattes. France has been particularly generous in donating cheese, crackers, and red wine for the refugees to consume as they discuss their disappointment with America amongst themselves.

Scholars debate the causes of the refugee crisis. Sociologist Martin Feld of the University of Chicago says that the Liberals do not feel at home in the United States, "in America, if rural people with pickup trucks are the ones who are seen as ‘real’ Americans, where does that leave urban people who drive hybrids?"

Although Canada is refusing to force the Liberal refugees back to America, Canada as said that it cannot give asylum to all of the Liberals, and that other enlightened nations are going to have to take in some. On Monday, Prime Minister Paul Martin justified his refusal to give permanent residency to all the refugees thusly:

"The Canadian economy cannot accommodate so many Women’s Studies professors, grad students in post-colonial literature, and avant-garde film makers. Europe, New Zealand, and others are going to have to take in their share."

United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, Ruud Lubbers, says he hopes that the refugees will return to their homes in the United States, but that the refugees consistently express fears that George W. Bush will cut taxes again.

In the mean time, the refugees are adjusting to life in Canada. They are practicing their hockey and Bryan Adams.


- posted by jsbennett70 @ 6:28 AM